How To Spot A Runs Girl In 365 Days


CAVEAT before CAVEAT:# This is an article I had written more than 2 years ago. Ended up not publishing it as I felt it may upset some sensibilities. It had been stored as a draft since then, tucked away from my memory. Alas, I discovered it this evening, and I have decided to upload it. It is old, it is dusty and it was written many moons ago. I am also feeling exceptionally lazy this weekend, so I am digging into the archives to bring out the “bottom pot.”

But it is relevant, and that is a winner any day in my book (or my blog). Fellas thank me for this. This may upset a few people especially certain female folk. I plead “The Caveat.”


2010 -2020 has been declared the decade of the Runs Girl. ‘Runs girls’ have become a huge societal problem in Nigeria, just somewhere after corruption, and somewhere before inflation. They break up marriages, they convert our daughters at university, they reduce the productivity of top managers and execs. They even kill – a commissioner in one of the South South states was found dead in a hotel room last year after a bout with one of these chicks. It didn’t help that he also had Red Bull and garri as an aphrodisiac. Sometimes less is more.

But they are mostly a threat to young professional males who are looking to settle down. The truth is they are hard to spot. If you are in a BRT bus, in a plane, at a wedding, at a bar, at Silverbird Mall, take a look over your shoulder – you may be in the presence of a runs girl. Once they have got their eyes on you, it is curtains. One zeroed in on my friend at a wedding. She just walked across the room, bumping past other people  and shoving them aside like Richard Ashcroft in that The Verve  music video (Youtube it – the name of the tune is Sweetest Symphony).

Some weeks back (now many moons ago), I was chilling with some chaps discussing the ‘runs girl’ phenomena and how it was putting willing blokes off proper relationships as it is difficult to separate the unreal from the authentic.  It was all macho banter, and everyone started chipping in their rules for deciphering a ‘runs girl’ from a ‘take home to mama’ aka ‘full cream’.

Guys take note, girls please do not shoot the messenger (not that I am one).

1.      If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Dude, if you were not a player before, or you were always passed up by chicks whenever you chatted them, it is not going to start now. If suddenly a hot looking model like thing is all over you,( a few days after you closed down a multi-million naira deal or a killer job at a Fortune 500 outfit) and kisses you on the first day, let your alarm bells ring (or your inner rooster crow). Girls are not now suddenly dating you because of your looks. Run. For. Your. Life (or wife).

2.      She is not bothered about meeting your folks or siblings. Or your friends. Unless they are minted ( they have owo, kudi, ego, Ghana-Must-Go fillers). Any girl who rates people by the size of their bank accounts needs to be defended against (like Lynxx’s Azonto dance in that Black Magic video “Confam”)

3.      This chick dresses really nice. Every time you see her, her jeans are on point, with an IT  bag and really chunky jewelry. But she has no visible means of livelihood. While you, as a hardworking lad is grinding and dreaming schemes to make profit or even collect your monthly salary, this runs girls are at home scheming of turnovers (get it, turn-overs?). Before runs girls used to opt for ushering gigs where they could analyze their targets, but now they are just consultants or shop owners. Beware, her new source of livelihood is now you.

4.      You could never grab a small bite with this chick whenever you are out for dinner. Anytime you stop over at a joint to grab a few things, this babe is packing enough grub to feed a small army. And she lekpa die (lekpa means anorexic, thin, slight, bony). You look at her slender frame puzzled and wonder where all that food is going. Best to check her IT (eat) bag.

5.      A few runs girls may not  be all that bothered if you try to  chat up or try to sleep with any of her friends. It is a win-win for her and her posse, you see. It is like a friend-pool to play the lottery; either way, both of them hit the jackpot (you). Besides there is always your rich brother or friend. Watch her friends. Birds of the same feather, err f… together. 

6.      Anytime you give her a present, it somehow seems like you are paying for a service. She may even ask you for the price of the present or ask you to change it something of her choice (which is always co-incidentally more expensive). A friend started seeing this chick he had met at a video club in Surulere (of all places). On Valentines Day, he decided to get her a pair of shoes (why he did that, I would never know). Was she pleased, seeing that they had only known each other for just over a month. Nah, she made him give her the receipt, because she preferred the monetary equivalent! I would have returned her to where I found her.

7.  First time you met her, when you said ‘Hello’ she said ‘Hi’. I do not know what this means either, but one of my friends at our round-table suggested it, and it was endorsed by the Literati (guys at the table).



They spot you out dancing topless in your drawers/
Damn look, there goes a black girl lost/

Nas (Black Girl Lost, 1996)

30 responses

  1. I do not totally concur with you Mr. Esco. Really? Please could you help define “a runs girl”? And expantiate a bit more. There is a difference between outright materialism and hustling. I think you’ve got it all mixed up dear. Cheers.

    • @Scharck – thanx bro and for retweeting it as well

      @ Louisa – not mixed up at all love. girls may differentiate it but to fellas a runs girl is any girl who is in a relationship for material gains

  2. Esco..
    This ur article is obviously old….
    Runs girls have stepped up their game real well…
    U need to do another recent “market review”
    @louisa hustling, materialism, all join… Their sha trying to reap where they did not sow.

  3. A runs “gerl” is born every minute here o! Dat’s Hw one ws giving me “come-f**k-me” gestures in d middle of 9am Mass! I tire …

  4. u meet a lady today ..the next day is her bday!!..she ust needed to check wat you are capable of doing or if u re loaded. run!!!

  5. Esco, you be my mentor o. Teach me your ways o wise one. Lol! Love the post. Its a bit dated but in principle it still applies. I have no problems with runs girls, I just wish that when I m trying to find the right girl they will stay the heck out of the way,

  6. Hello every one this is Mr Benald Udo an agent in regards of getting any sugar mummy of your choice,so if you are interested in getting one all you need to do is to give me a call on (08076265935) for more information on how to get one thanks.

  7. Imagine d world witout runs girls,am in no position to judge them,i wil take a runs girl 2 an armed robber,it can stil be traced back to our epileptic economy and incompetent govt,it takes all sorts to make a world.its all hustle,yo,as long as they stay clear of married men.

  8. Un sourire de star ça se reprenne.
    Votre dentiste est capable de se changer en un reel seducteur.

    Pour les gens qui ne veulent pas remarquer les signes de la vieillesse sur ses dents,
    il est propose de prendre des traitements esthetique dentaire 93.

    Pour le cas des facettes en ceramique elles sont adoptees
    pour camoufler les deformations.
    A cause des facettes, on rentre dans le sphere de la chirurgie esthetique.

    L’operation exige une meditation et le prix est assez consequent.

    les memes techniques comme les faux ongles,
    place en hauteur des dents et recouvrent les irregularites, pareil que
    les dents felees.
    Ce procede est de meme employe pour faire disparaitre l’espace note sur les dents de devant.

    L’ensemble de la therapie s’adopte en une seule seance et la therapie
    demeure a peu pres une dizaine d’annees.
    Pour ce qui veut un sourire lumineux, precise par un email tres blanche, ci-apres les conseils
    Les methodes et produits modernes ne s’arrete de de s’améliorer tout en respectant votre dentition.
    Des kits de blanchiment a domicile et des traitements en cabinet dentaire sont des techniques qui fonctionnent.
    Les therapies orthodontiques proposes aux enfants ainsi qu’aux personnes agees sont ardus a consentir.
    Seulement l’issu de ce type de soins ne sont plus a proner

  9. Un sourire resplendissant ça se redresse.
    Votre dentiste est en etat de se changer en un reel seducteur.

    Pour ceux qui ne tienne pas a reperer la marque de la vieillesse sur ses dents,
    il est suggere de suivre des prises en charge d’ esthetique dentaire 93.

    Pour parler des facettes en ceramique elles
    sont employees pour voiler l’imperfection.
    A cause des facettes, on passe dans le sphere de la chirurgie esthetique.

    Le service implique une pensee et le tarif est assez logique.

    Adoptant les memes comme les faux ongles,
    plaque en hauteur des dents et voilent les anomalies, pareil que les dents felees.

    Ce processus est aussi adopte pour combler l’espace note sur les dents de devant.

    La totalite de la therapie se confectionne en une campagne et l’intervetion dure dans une dizaine d’annees.
    Pour ce qui souhaite un sourire ardant, ponctue par un email tres blanche, ci-apres les suggestions
    Les système et substances a present avance de croitre tout en magnifiant vos dents.
    Parmi les techniques qui sont appropries le plus il faut noter les kits de blanchiment a domicile ajoute les traitements en dentisterie tenu par un dentiste experimente.
    Les therapies orthodontiques suggeres aux enfants ainsi qu’aux personnes agees sont penibles a consentir.
    Seulement l’aboutissement de ce type de soins ne sont plus a demontrer

  10. Salut la compagnie, Je viens de fêter mon 34ième anniversaire.

    , je ne fait pas de retenue là dessus !
    Mon nom est Florence.
    J’ai repris des études pour devenir secrétaire de direction ! On dit parfois de moi que je suis drôle.

  11. Pingback: Naija Musings – New Age Society Ladies | royalarrows

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