The Pounded Yam and Pure Water Awards (3)

Balling...

 

CLAP OFFERING

  1. The movie “Limitless” by Bradley Cooper and Bob DeNiro was quite awesome, if not a tad bit too long. You should go see it, if you haven’t ; I could not help but think about how wonderful it would be if that magic bill which boosts brainpower to 100% capacity were available to some of our national leaders in Nigeria.
  2. Sharwama, bacon patties, ranch sauce and fries at Pride of Eden (Heavenly Foods), Ikota Shopping Complex, VGC.
  3. “The Beautiful Games of an Ordinary Genius” a book by Chelsea manager, Carlo Ancelotti. What a great read. Except  if you are a bitter supporter of a small North London club. I joke, I joke, but alas it is working.
  4. Apollonia’s character in the movie “Blackberry Babes” Please help me come and set this my phone. Haha. She is really getting better at this
  5. The indictment of Jessica Tata by repatriation from Nigeria, to face manslaughter charges due to her negligence which caused a fire that killed kids at a childcare facility.
  6. The resilience, discipline, strength and charity shown by Japanese people despite the tsunami disaster and pending nuclear radiation. Someone even rescued a dolphin washed  and trapped on a wet rice paddy and released the weak animal into the sea. Contrast with how a stranded whale on Lagos’s Alpha beach ended up as sushi in a matter of minutes (a Japanese dish by the way)
  7. A train service between Lagos and Illorin has been re-vamped and resumed after decades. The prospect of  fully functional trains in Nigeria brings a smile to my heart. So many possibilities, I can live in my village, and work in Lagos. Deaths by car accidents which have hit us had recently will reduce drastically. And I will definitely tell Aero and Arik to stick it.

Dulling...

YEYE

  1. PDP manufacturing bags of rice for distribution during their campaigns. The last time food and politics were combined, the starving and impoverished masses (the great unwashed, as they were cruelly called then) ended up with all the French bread they could eat, by executing via beheading at the guillotine, the excessively wasteful French monarch and his tactless wife Mary Antoinette. It was her who had asked “ What do the people need bread for; let them eat cake” (in Naija that would be the National Cake)
  2. The brouhaha and racist outrage at the relationship between Miss Ireland and a Nigeria. Come on peoples, Colin Farrell once had a sex-tape scandal involving a black ex-Playboy bunny Nicole Narain in 2005. No one spoke then. The funny thing is that in Nigeria, inter-racial relationships are glorified, unless it is an ashewo/ex-pat arrangement. I remember one time, an oyibo expat was taking an evening jog in Victoria Island, when he went past a prostitute on Adeyemo Alakija. She started following him immediately, jogging with him in her high heels and fish-net tights to keep up. He told her he wasn’t interested, but she wasn’t deterred at all. She obviously thought that oyibo = dollars = possible marriage = moving to Yankee. She offered to give him “a free one on the house” in an abandoned Danfo bus in the corner of the road – a trial will convince you, Mr McDonald.
  3. The quality of the arguments, answers and presentations by the candidates NN24 sponsored Presidential debate; not much of a higher standard than “Speak Out” the now defunct children’s debate show on NTA. How can a candidate when asked about what he would do about power, answer that he would go and see what is on ground when he enters. Whatever happened to research , fact-gathering and preparing your points. Madness. I liked the presenter though.
  4. People bashing the Blackberry as being a fad or a fashion item in Nigeria. Dude, it is a fantastic device to own. Besides Naija people did the same thing with Samsung True i, Nokia 3310 and a host of other brands.
  5. Buhari getting himself into a tangle during the presidential debate by promising to probe all former governments for Nigeria’s power problems despite the huge investments.

9 responses

  1. Loved all your ‘claps’…your ‘yeyes’ on the other hand are too complicated to outrightly yeye. Let me address the most important ones first…bacon in Nigeria? Makes moving home much much better to think off; screw going vegetarian. I kid but yeah…PDP and rice? You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Abeg, on to the next point.
    Buhari wasn’t so wrong to say he would assess what is on ground; Yeah, he should have come prepared with figures, but generally I think it was his phrasing that was wrong, not the logic. With Naij, who can be completely sure of the mess that’s been made of the power sector until all the info has been handed over to you? But on that probe thing ehn, why was he trying to put us on a long thing? How many gov’ts even in developed countries have successfully probed previous administrations?
    As for the Blackberry, let’s be real. It is a fantastic device to own….for those who actually need it (professionals with crazy schedules) not 19 year old ‘runs girls’ with no real jobs or need for scheduling appointments. It’s not even like they make use of the great useful apps, it’s always dumb social media crap or mindless games.

    • I take it that you are a huge fan of bacon. Yeah Nigeria has everything nowadays, and we could have much more.

      Buhari gave one or two good arguements, which is hard to do because he is not the most articulate person in the world, but you can see some of his intentions were good. None of the candidates really came with concrete facts and figures, and many of them gave generalized answers to economic and social questions. Sheraku (I hope I got the spelling right) who may people acclaim to be the winner was decent enough but you can see that pulled off his recent experience as a state governor to state his facts.

      Buhari got himself into a net by saying he will probe past governments when he was also a member, both as a former Head of State and also head of PTF, and thats why the audience started laughing. He even looked uneasy himself when the audience was laughing and tried to adjust his statement. Long thing it was, Maybe I would do a piece on it later; I may need your help.

      The Blackberry thing is a social study of its own. Enough said, though the movie Blackberry Babes grossly exaggerated the issue.

  2. Oh yeah…train service? Awesome! Yeah, Aerocontractor can definitely stick it…serving me hot juice on a hot summer day…WTF?! Now let’s hope that the trains are safe and not vessels of torture.

    • They served you hot juice on a hot day? Did you have to pay for it? Lol. Atleast they got you to your destination in one piece; thats all we can really ask for in Nigeria these days. Yeah, the trains would be a fantastic thing, but they have to be safe, clean and well ventilated. But at least, it is a start.

  3. About the PDP food sharing exercise, na real Yeye. Here in ‘The Buj’ I heard it was bread and rams. *slow long hiss*
    And yeah, BB haters need to drop the issue, or get themselves one and stop whining. lol

  4. Appolonia is a correct Blackboory babe!! U wan try, nobody fit test her!😉 In my opinion, she was the star of that movie. So what’s the gist about Jessica Tata? Did they find her in Naija? It’s a real sad situation and I can imagine her fear and panic and why she ran. Toh, but may justice prevail, at least for the sake of the families who lost their little ones. PDP is definitely no. 1 capital YEYE!! But I don’t agree the NN24 presentations were totally yeye. It was good to have had those guys on the spot and see what their true caliber is. Especially Ribadu, who I thought had more substance than what he reflected. He came across as all talk, with no real plan of action. Shekarau definitely made the most sense and was the only one who had a real grasp of issues faced by his constituency. Regarding Miss Ireland, it did not start today and won’t end tomorrow… mixed culture and race relationships usually face the toughest opposition. Even in Nigeria, as much as we ‘glorify’ interracial relationships, it’s usually just on the surface- I know for a fact that majority of Nigerwives (foreign women married to Nigerian men) are not treated right by their husband’s families, even worse, a lot of these men do not take a stand for their foreign wives in the face of societal/ family opposition. On a lighter note, ‘Speak Out’ LOL… you brought back some memories from my childhood- my mom use to make us watch that by force.. I preferred ‘Tales by Moonlight’😛

    • Apollonia is awesome, eh? The Jessica Tata situation is sad; she flew back to the US last wk.
      The idea behind the debate was great, but the candidates looked ill-prepared and casual for the occasion. I mean if you were attending an interview to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, you would arm yourself with information, research matters and facts & figures. Its a bit sad that those applying for the highest position in the land could not give concrete or bright answers to basic questions on teething matters. With Ribadu funny enough, I can see the good intention in his eyes, and I have no doubt that if he gets there, he will choose the right type of young, professional team to try and get things done. Maybe he just is not articulate. Sheraku spoke a good game sometimes, but thats to be expected as he is as itting governor. With Buhari, I am not sure..
      The Miss Ireland thing is a disgrace really.
      Lol @ Tales by Moonlight comment. Speak Out was an awesome program, eh?

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