State Of The Unions – Yankee Vs. Naija

Winston Churchill once quipped that Britain and the United States were countries separated by a common language.

That may be true but how similar is America to Nigeria?

Both operate a federal system, drive on the right hand side of the road, and elect (or rig in) presidents every four years, but those are where the similarities end. Right? Wrong.

Nigeria can compete with the best of them, and this list will show why…

America had a president called JFK, we had one called OBJ

They have people they refer to as “new money”; we call them “money miss road”

In high school they had bullies, we call them agbayas

It is called “bankruptcy” in America; we refer to it as “I get am before”

They call them cat burgulars in Yankee, in Nigeria they are called armed robbers

In America, they are known as scam artists; in Nigeria they call them yahoo yahoo boys

America had Reaganomics, Nigeria had SAP (Structural Adjustment Program)

In Yankee, people love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; in Nigeria, mai-shy(bread, egg and suya) is a national delicacy

It is called a potbelly in America; in Nigeria it is a sign of “chopping life”

America has the Olsen twins; we have Aki and Pawpaw

They have the bank bandit Jesse James, we have James Ibori

They have 30 Rock, we have Aso Rock

They have Jersey Shore; we have Fuji House of Commotion

They have Tina’s ex-husband Ike Turner, we have Jim Ikye

They make have Hugh Hefner, but we have Nackson

The crime is referred to as grand theft auto in Yankee; here it is called ‘one chance’

They may be “mixed race” in America, but in Nigeria they are known as “half caste”

In  the US of A, they have a TV program called Judge Judy, we had one called Icheoku.

America had a TV series called The Vampire Diaries, but Nigeria had one called Willy Willy

In the USA, it is known as political correctness, and in Nigeria it is termed “Federal Character” or zoning

In America they hold elections, in Nigeria we usually hold selections.

They call them wierdos in Yankee, but in Nigeria people say that “their brain dey touch”

Yankee movies employ CGI and special effects, Nollywood flicks utilize jazz,  juju and face-slapping soundbites

They may be called old school over there, but we refer to them as elders over here

In America, he is known as a Stay at Home Dad/ House Husband, but in Nigeria he simply introduces himself as a “Consultant”

Bizarrely, Americas love French fries; Nigerians  love Ghana bread

In Yankee they have low fat spread, we call it butter

They also have margarine, we still call it butter

In America they love Baked beans, we adore agonyi beans

They have 106 and Park, we had Kiddie Vision 101

They have Mickey Rourke, we have Charlie Boy

They have Kim Kardashian, we have Mercy Johnson.

America has flavor flav, Nigeria has Terry G

Their criminals cop an insanity plea in the courts; criminals in Nigeria cry that it was the work of the devil

America has its own sunglasses sporting, dread-locked eccentric music star in T-pain, we have Timaya.

They have the Atkins Diet; we have ordinary people suffering and smiling feeding eating without meat.

They have Rock and Republic, we have Kalakuta Republic

They have got Graceland, well we have Motherland

Yankee has the state of Oregon, we have Oregun in Lagos.

And you may need to forget what you watched on “The Social Network” movie, apparently the inventor of Facebook  actually is from and lives in Nigeria.

Good luck guessing who it is.

3 responses

  1. In America, he is known as a Stay at Home Dad/ House Husband, but in Nigeria he simply introduces himself as a “Consultant”

    i dey laugh oh!!!!!!!!!!!

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